"The economy stinks, Bee's are dying, movies are pretty much all sequels now and my penis i

I was always told to start with an attention grabbing headline and/or a quote. I did both. Thanks Schmidt for the inspiration. I wasn't sure about the capitalization of that because its a quote but its also a title so I just went with it. Anyways.....without further adieu....

Some times you just get a fever. And the only prescription is more pork belly. I shit you not; this was like when your mom makes you sit on your hands when you get the Chickenpox…wait, and you’re moms made you do that right? Only mine? Well, either way, I didn’t listen, I scratched and scratched until I realized it wasn’t helping. In regards to food, I had to get my hands on some pork belly this weekend. And I did.

Like Bilbo Baggins, I was going on an adventure….the second I left the gym. I’ll be completely honest, my original idea was to get my hands on some Ox Tail but that’s neither here nor there. I started at the Asian Market thinking they would have either, or both items (which they should have **Foreshadow**). You guessed it, they didn’t. They had fish balls and milkfish and a Japanese version on friends on DVD for $5.99. I’m getting off subject. When I left she mutter something completely incomprehensible which I assumed was the grocery store but it started with a B…I jus smiled and nodded my head and went on my way.

Seconds after take off I realized she meant the butcher down the street. I went. I perused. They had it. I glowed like a pregnant woman. I paid my $6 and was on my way. I left realizing I had absolutely no idea how to cook the damn thing.

As I laid on the couch, nursing my hangover watching approximately 4 hours of old New Girl episodes, I researched and had my plan of attach. I threw it in a gallon Glad bag with soy sauce, honey, garlic, Siracha and Cheyenne and let it soak up all its magical goodness. When it was all nice a pruney, I was ready to roll. First off, pork is always best low and slow. I planned on cooking it 2-3 hours at least. This time, I cooked in reverse. I actually put it on the tray fat side up and let the fat crackle until the brink of “oh my god Tony you burnt the mess out of it,” pulled it out and we were good to go. The rest of the way was all oven. I put it in a glass pan at 325 for two hours. At that point, it had a nice little puddle of fat and juices that should (in my opinion) be acceptable to save for a later date. It was all but done (for you basic bitches out there)…..But wait, there’s more (Billy Mays voice). I had some Octoberish beers I the fridge I just can’t even get in the mood to drink anymore now that pumpkin spice is a thing of autumns past. I took said beer and filled the bottom of the pan with all it hoppy and pumpkiny goodness, added molasses and siracha and let it sit in the flavor tub for another 30 minutes.

*Insert some light clouds and I Dream of Genie nose wiggle*

There she was, tanned like she had been kissed by the Florida sun. To be honest, I don’t know if it was a male or female pig but it was perfect. Before I sit here a toot my own horn (he said toot J) too much it was a little dark. The great thing about pork with you can burn the hell out of it and it would only make it better.

It was delicious, I was not worthy, I just wanted you to know. I wish I was better at describing the flavors and colors but remember i'm not cool like the other blogs remember? I’m Not a Foodie.

Here’s the picture proof for you to drool over.