Forte
No...Not the workhorse running back for the Chicago Bears. This one is so much better. No disrespect to Matt Forte, he's been a sold Fantasy running back for 4 years running and is 10x more productive than Jay Cutler...where were we? Oh! Right! Forte European Tapas right here in Fabulous Las Vegas.
It was a dark and stormy night and the valley was seeing much more rain than expected. The night fell much earlier and the hunger therefore came in much earlier than expected. In all seriousness, I’ve been wanting to eat here since October. Katie’s lucky @$$ got to go to Giada tonight so I was left at home with the dog to sulk in our own tear, helplessly staring out the rain soaked window pain. To be fair, I wanted to go yesterday but my "cheat day" turned into an entire cheat weekend and I feel no "ragrets".... Not even a letter....
I've been stalking Forte's Yelp page for god knows how long. I was all ready to go today right after lunch however there was a major hitch. It didn't open until 5pm. I paced the house for several hours until the clock struck 5 and I was out the door.
First off, this place is only about 5 miles from my house, it wasn't hard to find. The weird thing is the location. It's in a parking lot shared with a Spanish market and drug-testing center. With that being said, the lord said "thou shall not judge" and I did not.
Flash back, if you will to October 2014 at the Life is Beautiful festival in Las Vegas. This was my first encounter with Forte. I indulged in their Chebureki in one of the food villages and loved every second of it. It was crispy, meaty, and greasy and I couldn't get it in my mouth fast enough (that’s what she said).
Present day. So when I got there it had just started down pouring. Perfect eating weather. I was greeted, told my appropriately named waitress Nitaliya I'd be dining alone and eating for two and selected a table that was away from all other groups to make myself look even more emo. I felt a lot like Todd from Wedding Crashers minus the shitty hair cut. I take pride in my hair; my barber tells me how beautiful it is monthly. I can just feel your jealousy seeping though the keyboard.
Any way, I came mostly for the Russian and Georgian style cuisine and felt it most appropriate that I order the Moscow Mule which I believe was referred to as a so and so JackassI have suck a shitty memory, i litterally just left like 45 minutes ago. I must say it was delicious, second to only that of which I've consumed at The Vitner Grill. I LOVE mules. You know what I love even more? Happy Hour mules for $5.
The food. I started out ordering the Chebureki. It's a crowd pleaser, it's familiar, it was just as good as t was the first time I had it. Crispy, meaty, greasy, like most Russian men in movies. Next I ordered another dumpling. This time Georgian Style Pelmeni meat dumplings. These are just like Asian dumplings, steamed, filled with meat in a translucent doughy wrapping. It came with sour cream drip and dill. Equally as good, filled with oniony, salt, spiced meat. Just big enough to where they weren't quite poppable. I continued to wash it down with the mule trying to pace myself for the grand finally. Don't ask me to pronounce it; I'm barely qualified to spell it. You ready for it? ADJARSKI KHACHAPURRI. I copied and pasted that from the website for accuracy reasons. Basically it a cross between a Pide and a Egg In A Boat/Hole filled with a pickled cheese. I can barely get through this without heavy breathing and drooling. It was amazing. The dough was crispy and soft on this inside. These cheese was briny and creamy. Then the finale. A baked egg on top. The perfect satiny, silky smooth indulgent topping to really set everything off. I proudly joined the empty plate club tonight. I left happy, full and spending under $30.
If you live here, go there. It's awesome food you can't get anywhere else and Tapas style so you can try a little bit of everything. From what the menu stated as well, it was even on Dinner's Drive-Ins and Dive's. Now drool my toadies.
